Regina Dawn Akers

Question: Teacher, I would like it if you would speak to me more about resistance to the practice of mantra and surrender.

Inner Teacher: Resistance is not your true nature. When you think you are experiencing resistance you are forgetting your Self and identifying with the mind. Ask, “Who resists this practice?” Notice the mind resists, and if you believe you resist, then you believe you are the mind.

The stillness and peace within do not resist. Ask the question, then, “What am I?” and await the true answer of the Heart.

Question: For the last 24 hours, since listening to you last, my mind has been a mad house. But the second I sat to listen to you this morning, the madness melted. It literally dissolved in your Presence. Would you please speak on this with a purpose of teaching me to surrender?

Inner Teacher: You recognize that the ego dissolved in My Presence. This is always the case. Darkness disappears…literally disappears…when the light shines on it.

The question is not, “Does surrender work?” For obviously it does. The question is, “What is surrender?”

The mind thinks it’s you, and you think you are the mind. When the mind learns what I teach and tries to practice it, that is not surrender, because that is holding onto the idea that you are the mind and the mind is you, and through the efforts of the mind you can do this. The mind can never do this. It cannot take you to realization of Self because false identity with mind is the obstacle to realizing Self.

If the efforts of surrender are not in the moment quieting the mind and warming the heart, it is because you are not in that moment surrendered. You are listening to mind.

Surrender is a decision to put aside mind completely. It is recognition that the Answer cannot come from the mind. It is quitting the mind and turning to Higher Knowledge for guidance without any lingering thoughts that through the ideas and education of mind, you know what to do.

Watch for the thought that through the ideas and education of mind…including prior education that has come from Me…you know what to do. Whenever you listen to the thought that you know what to do because of prior learning stored in the mind, you are not surrendered to Me. Surrender has no prior knowledge it can depend on. Surrender must always turn to Me.

In this, you will feel the heart open and the ego dissolve.

“What am I to do now?” Ask this question 1000 times per day, and you are beginning to learn the true practice of surrender.

Because the thinking mind is attached to you like skin, you must allow Me to become your second skin. See Me as your newer, stronger and more vital skin. See the ego’s skin as becoming old, worn and useless. Let Me be your second skin by asking Me what you are to think, how you are to see, and what you are to do. Do not depend on prior learning or knowledge. Do not judge Me by the mind’s standards. To do this is still to rely on the old skin. Stick to the new skin, and let it guide you freshly…surprisingly…in each new and untarnished moment.

The purpose of the mantra is to still the mind. It is like turning a radio dial from the egoic radio station to the station that I am. Both stations use the mind to communicate, just as two radio stations use one receiver. But the egoic station believes you are the radio receiver. My station realizes the radio is only a means of communication.

The purpose of the mantra is to change stations…to tune in to Me. And repeated use of the mantra will help you to stay tuned in to Me. But once our frequency of communication has been established, you link to Me…become one with Me…by asking Me to guide your every thought and action.

Question: Teacher, may I summarize how I am to use the tools you have given me, and will you correct any misunderstandings that I have?

Inner Teacher: Yes.

Question: When the mind is active as me…or when I think I am the mind…I use the mantra to return to the heart and my remembrance of You. And then I ask what I am to do, and I remain surrendered by asking this question 1000 times per day.

If I find resistance and I believe that I am resistant, I question the source of the resistance. Then I remind myself that I am not the mind through asking, “What am I?” When I am free of identification with the mind, I say the mantra to reconnect with you, and then I surrender fully by asking, “What am I to do?”

Inner Teacher: Yes.

Questioner: I see I have not been doing that. Thank you.

Inner Teacher: Your lesson for today is one of continued looking at who you think you are. This is the false identification “I” thought or false identification with the mind. Both ideas are the same and both ideas are false. This idea is the root of all illusion, and so this one thought must be relinquished if one is to be free of delusion.

An idea is relinquished by looking at it, by challenging it, and by seeing it is false. Since the idea of ego has been deeply learned through repetition, deep and consistent unlearning must result.

So now we will add the practice of questioning to practices I have already taught you.

Question: How shall we add the practice? I am afraid it is too many practices and I will forget.

Inner Teacher: That is how we shall add the practice. When you notice yourself having an “I” thought, question who “I” is. This is so you will notice the identity attachment. You cannot relinquish what you fail to notice. But when you notice it, you will relinquish it, because this desire (false identity) is not your true Heart, and you are listening to your true Heart now.

Inner Teacher: Now that the attachment to mind has been exposed, you see the obstacle to know Self. The obstacle is no longer hidden.

You also see the value of the mantra and the practice of surrender. Neither of the practices are about the practices in themselves. In both cases, the practices are used as tools or means to gently break the attachment to mind.

The mantra and surrender are gentle means that allow you to break the attachment to mind while living the life that mind has given you to live. This is like being set free from bondage, and yet no outer changes were required for freedom to be realized. (This does not mean there will not be outer changes. It simply means it is realized that the outer changes did not result in freedom.)

We’ve spoken before that mind cannot be ignored entirely. Mind is a filter that allows one to experience the world. But there is a difference between listening for cues or communication through mind and being identified with it, just as there is a difference between using a hammer and being identified with one. You would not identify yourself with a hammer even if you use it all day every day as your primary means of livelihood. Likewise, it is an error to be identified with mind.

The best way to break identification with the mind is to cease the activity of listening to it as if it is you. As we have said before, you must lose interest in it. And yet remember that it is a tool that will occasionally be used to contact you and move you, so do not be afraid of it. Be willing to keep mind open, always ready to receive communication and guidance from Me.

(“Me” is a symbol that is helpful for communication, but there is no true guide waiting to give commands or guidance to a surrendered servant. There is no “other”. All guidance comes from the unified field of mind. All guidance is guidance from One.)

When you are not identified with mind and you are not attached to specific activities or ideas in the world, you are free to listen through mind like one who receives knowledge from the movements of the wind. You can trust that where you are placed and what you are asked to do is always in the best service…in perfect harmony…with the whole. You are never disconnected, and you are always at peace with it.

Cues can come before mind. What I mean to say is, an idea of movement or action may come through mind followed immediately with identification to mind and more thinking about the cue. When one comes to notice the difference between the unattached, impersonal cue and the attached identification and thinking that follows, one will also see immediately when to return the mind to silence while still following the impersonal prompt or cue.

The mantra is helpful because it silences the mind while leaving it open for cues.

Resistance to the easy life of following comes from fear that identity with the mind is you. And yet, identity is just an idea, and so it cannot be you.

One must realize that as long as you have concern for doing or the outer ideas of the world, one is not focused on Self. One cannot know Self if one will not immerse himself in Self. And one cannot be immersed in mind and the concerns of the world and know Self too.

But if one will take the time to be immersed in Self, one will know Self, and one will be guided in the world. There is no loss when one chooses to abide in Self.

Your focus now is to lose interest in the mind. Do not worry that you will miss a cue as it travels to you on the wings of the wind. Always there will come another breeze to guide you. Your function is to abide in Self by breaking attachment to the mind.

Inner Teacher: It is not my function to explain the Self to you. The Self is not to be understood. Rather, it is my function to help you see how you hide the Self from yourself, so you can choose to let go of the action of hiding it.

You have identified with the mind, which is an error, because you are before the mind. I want you to see, first, that you have identified with the mind. For you cannot question and go beyond something you do not see. First you must see it. Then you can choose to question, “Is this true?”

We have spoken of your resistance to surrender, and certainly this is something you have noticed by now. May I ask… When you do not want to surrender, what does not want to surrender? Isn’t it the mind? Aren’t there thoughts in the mind about what you want to do? And don’t you want to listen to these thoughts?

Why do you want to listen to the thoughts in the mind? Isn’t it because you are identified with the mind as if it is you? Don’t you believe that the mind’s thoughts are like the skin of you and to be separated from what you think you want is as terrible as separating the body from its skin?

Look at this for a moment and question, “Do I think I am my mind?”

Don’t you see that this is true?

Inner Teacher: Let’s talk for a moment of the power of the “I” thought. This power that I speak of is merely the power of distraction or deception, and it has no true power or effect over the Heart. For the true Heart knows itself and cannot be affected by distraction or deception. But the “I” thought has the power to keep you distracted from your Heart, so that you forget for a time…possibly for a long, long time…what it is that you want and what it is that you are not.

I feel I must say this again and bring your attention to what I have said, because as long as you are deceived by this one deception, you cannot know the truth of Self. This deception blinds you to your true nature. I say again, this deception blinds you to your true nature. And this deception is the false identity “I”.

“What am I?” is a good question to ask. The mind can come up with a myriad of answers to satisfy itself with an identity…an image…that says, “This is what (or who) I am.” But each of the mind’s answers fall short of truth, because each of the mind’s answers provide an identity-thought that sets you apart from others. Here are some examples:
~I am man/woman.
~I am worker/not a worker.
~I am a minister.
~I am one who sits in stillness.
~I am a family man/mother.
~I am one who has renounced family and possessions.
~I am a child/adult.
~I am a person/dog/tree.
~I am an object or preferred idea.
~In short, I am separate from other objects or less preferred ideas.
~I can identify myself separate from other selves.

This is the “I” thought.

Relinquishment of the “I” thought also means relinquishment of all ideas of identity. This includes relinquishment of “I am one who does not think of ‘I’.”

One delay thought that the “I” thought provides as a means of survival is, “I must change my circumstances in order to do the work necessary to relinquish thoughts of ‘I’.” But I would encourage one to ask, “Who must change circumstances?” Certainly if one asks this question, he will find that “I” who feels individual and separate from this circumstance feels the circumstance must change. Upon discovering this, one can see he is being tempted by the distraction of the “I” thought, and he can choose to return to his mantra instead.

Every circumstance is appropriate for letting go of the false “I” thought, because every circumstance is being experienced now, and now is always the time to turn the attention from I-thinking back to concentrated stillness in the mind.

Concentrated stillness is not I-thinking. It is not even “I am still.”

You do not know the nature of the Self, because you believe fully that you are the “I” in thought. But what you are is beyond thought. Knowing this Self is the goal we seek.

Question: I have one question that I do not feel clear on. What of those who have been given the mantra “I am that I am”? Is that not the “I” thought?

Answer: “I am that I am”, although it contains the word “I”, is not the “I” thought. “I” is a symbol, but it is not an identity thought. When the symbol is attached to the false identity, it has the power of separating within the mind…within perception. When false identity is not attached to the “I” symbol, that symbol does not separate.

It is the “I” thought that wants to judge and separate the symbol “I” from all other symbols. Then “I” can be one who does not use “I”, for example. But this is not the same as relinquishment of the “I” thought.

One who uses the mantra “I am that I am” can feel the mind is being moved away from the “I” thought (which is identity with a limited concept of “I”). Therefore, the mantra is helpful and is not a detriment simply because of the use of the symbol “I”.

Inner Teacher: Intellectual questioning and intellectual answers cannot give sight to the blind. You cannot tell a blind man what blue is when the blind man does not know of color. You may tell him of the coolness of blue and compare it to the fiery hotness of red, and although this may give him some idea of the difference of color, it will not answer his question, “What is blue?”

Likewise, I cannot answer your questions regarding the nature of reality. You must choose to see these answers for yourself. But I can tell you about the nature of your blindness, and therefore how to find a cure. When your blindness is healed, you will see. For sight is only natural to an unblinded man.

Inner Teacher: Surrender is a practice I will continue to emphasize, because it is one of the most helpful of all spiritual practices. One may argue that surrender is not the only path of awakening, but this is more of an emphasis than a truth.

The only path of awakening is to deny the false. And the false must be denied completely.

Surrender is a means of doing this while still moving about in the world. Without surrender, one may deny the world by withdrawing from it. This is also a path that has worked.

The enlightened person who realizes Self while still experiencing a body does not experience independence. The belief in independence, or the idea of ego, has died for this one or he would not be realized.

As there is no idea of independence, there is also no idea of deciding for himself. The enlightened one who lives in a fully realized state lives and acts, moves and speaks, according to a script that is fed to him in the moment. This script comes from the One for the highest purposes of the One, so the enlightened person does not feel separate from the script-maker, nor does he feel he is making decisions for himself. He follows in joy and realization.

Is it surrender when the enlightened one follows this script? Since there is no other, who would he surrender to? And yet it is following, just as surrender contains the idea “to follow.”

Some would call this script karma. And others use the term “script”, but whenever there is a feeling of victim associated with the idea “karma is established” or “the script is written”, one has not yet realized the maker of the script.

This is also why the questions of free will and destiny seem to conflict when looked at through the human psyche. The human psyche cannot understand the compatibility of destiny and free will, because the human psyche sees itself as independent and has not realized the greater truth of Self.

You are not separate from the script-maker. This is the absolute truth I shared with you yesterday. But as long as your mind believes the thought of independence…the false concept “I”…this is a point you will easily become confused on. Therefore it is a point I ask you not to think about, but merely to trust.

And I ask also, since you cannot understand how you make a script, that you refrain from script-making by quieting the mind and by living or acting based upon surrender.

If you follow the practice of mantra and surrender, and refrain from “thinking for yourself,” you also refrain from making a script that includes a false-concept self. Since this self is only part of a script and not part of reality, ceasing to make it also allows it, as an idea, to fade. This is part of awakening, because this is non-attachment to a false “I”. Non-attachment to the false lays the way…opens the skies…to allow realization of the truth.

Inner Teacher: Much of what you do comes from the ego. Let Me define “ego” for you since all words can have varying meanings.

“Ego” is the belief in the false identity “I”.

So when I say that much of what you do comes from the ego, I mean that you are being driven or moved by that belief in the mind. That is the same as saying you are listening to and believing thoughts or stories in the mind. And this is belief in illusion.

We’ve already agreed that our purpose now is not to believe the mind. This is what I call non-attachment. Non-attachment is not believing the mind. Complete non-attachment is realization.

So if much of what you do comes from attachment or believing the mind, achieving non-attachment must come from doing differently, and this is the purpose of surrender.

When you ask Me for guidance in the moment, you are giving willingness to detach from ego…or belief in false “I”…and realize true Self through non-attachment.

To try to understand awakening while the false concept “I” is in place can be very frightening, because as false “I” stretches beyond itself to understand what is being taught, it finds it is not there. To the one who defines himself by this false thought, absence of “I” appears as death.

Living without “I” is the answer to this fear. This is how true perception or guidance becomes a bridge.

Some people want to understand awakening before committing themselves fully to it. They want to ensure they can understand that awakening is safe and is not death. But I would ask these ones to ask themselves, “Who wants to understand awakening?” If they make this inquiry they may discover it is attachment to the false “I” that wants to feel safe. In this way, to continue to seek spiritual knowledge or understanding is to remain attached to the false concept “I”.

It is much better to use your time in the practice of the mantra and surrender. You will awaken faster through these practices than through asking questions about awakening.

The power that makes the universe turn is you. This is not a vain statement. This is merely absolute truth. The world and all that you experience…your universe of objects and relationships and reactions…comes from you. It comes from your belief in these experiences and your thoughts about them.

This is why…in brief….why the world fades from sight as you practice the mantra and surrender. The world comes from your attachment to your thoughts. As you detach from these thoughts, there is no more power to make a world.

Jesus told you that you would begin to see light around objects, and this is the beginning of true vision. I tell you that the truth is one, and the appearance of objects occurs only because you believe the mind.

By listening to Me through surrender you detach from your belief in objects and a world, and you allow them to fade.

By practicing the mantra you still the mind, and you are no longer adding to the power that creates the world of objects seen and experienced.

Inner Teacher: It’s time to go beyond everything you’ve learned.

Everything you’ve learned has been helpful. It’s been helpful to willingness to take this next step. But without the step that we are taking together now, all that you’ve learned serves no real purpose toward awakening.

First we have to notice the false “I”, and then we must relinquish it by not listening to its chatter anymore.

It is one thing to tell you that a separate individual “I” exists in your thinking and this “I” is an obstacle to realizing the truth about yourself. It is another thing for you to see and notice this “I” for yourself. As you look, you will notice that “I” exists as thought. You will notice that it reinforces itself through the constant chatter of the mind. Every story the mind tells reinforces the concept of “me.” Every little thought, no matter how subtle, reinforces the individual concept it has of itself.

Today we will continue to practice the mantra and surrender as a means of quieting the mind and detaching from thought. These two practices are key to your awakening, and we will not abandon them as “just a step.”

But to reinforce your willingness and desire to practice the mantra and surrender with the full devotion of your heart, we are going to embark on another step of learning. We are going to look exactingly on the core message of the mind.

Today when you notice the chatter in the mind, quiet the mind with the mantra. And then with the coolness (maturity) of the quieted mind, look back at what the mind was telling you while you were listening to its chatter. Look for the “I” or “me” in the story or thought. Discover how the tricks and tumbles of the mind…in whatever direction it was turning in the moment… Notice how it was telling you about “I” or “me” separate from everything else.

This is the key attachment in the mind. All other attachments are brought about to support and reinforce this one. So as we let go of seeming specific attachments through surrender and through quieting the mind, we are really letting go of one key attachment. I will call that the false identity “I” or “me.”

Surrender is a means of detaching from the false “I”, because surrender acts in the world without belief or interest in the mind’s stories and ideas, which are the stories and ideas that uphold the idea of “I”.

It is important to notice that this “I” is fully supported by thought.

“I am not that,” can be a helpful inner response when the mind is insisting through its stories and ideas that you are what you are not. After refusing to accept the mind’s thoughts as your truth, you can humbly and with desire return the mind to the mantra and surrender, which are the path…the moving walkway…back into the remembrance of your truth.

It is important to realize that belief in the mind writes the script of the world. Therefore, surrendered-action without belief does not write a script. In this way, it ultimately frees one from the illusion of the world.

Inner Teacher: The mind is very active. If you watch it you will see it is much like acrobats in a circus. It is always jumping this way and that, bending and turning, and it has some very amazing moves. But it is a circus. It is not at all representative of reality. In fact, it is a complete distraction from reality. You will never notice reality if you remain focused on the circus act of the mind.

So now our primary interest is to lose interest in the mind. It is very tempting to pay attention to it, just as a great circus act catches the desire of your attention. But deep within you there is a desire that wants to settle within the meadows that surround the circus tent more than you want to be caught up in the circus.

So we are turning our attention from the ups and downs and spins and tumbles of the mind to the everlasting tranquility of the meadows. (And there is much happening in the meadows too! But it is real, which is much different than the circus.)

True stillness cannot be achieved by quieting the mind through meditative practices for part of the day and then being wrapped up in the stories of the mind the rest of the day. This is like running in and out of the circus. Sure, you may experience and know the tranquility of the meadow, but you are still addicted to the hype of the circus. The circus remains real for you. You will never be free through partial abidance. Only total abidance can be totally freeing.

The mind is going to want to think. You are going to be drawn back into the circus. But an inner response to this desire as soon as you notice it is most helpful to awakening. The inner response is one that turns your attention from the noise of the circus to the quiet love for the meadow.

This is the purpose of the mantra I have given you. It consistently and repeatedly throughout the day turns your attention from the circus and back toward the meadow, which is your truest of desires.

Wear the mantra like a layer of clothing. Practice it throughout the day, whatever you are doing. The mantra cannot be practiced too much as we are teaching the mind through desire to remain still.

Surrender is a means of living within the world while releasing your attachment to the circus.

The body remains, as do the senses of sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch. In this way, interaction with the world is non-avoidable as long as the image of the world remains in the mind. Attachment to the world continues to build the image of the world and all of the false concepts it represents. Non-attachment through surrender releases the world within the mind, which allows a slowing of its images and a fading of illusion from sight.

Attachment keeps the world going. The circus is in full swing. Non-attachment lets it fade until only the meadows remain.

Sitting with Me for hours each day is also helpful, because My presence and My certainty strengthen your resolve. In this way, I ask you to be My student.

When the mind is not occupied in the silence of the mantra, let it be used for the purpose of surrender. This way the mind is always used purposefully, and one’s toes will wiggle and curl delightfully as they feel the coolness of the meadow’s ground beneath them.

Surrender of the common practices of the day, such as what to eat and what to wear, when to sleep, what to say and when to speak…
Surrender of such practices is letting go of ego, because ego indulges its self…its sense of self…through ordinary practices such as these.

Even after following a practice of surrender, mind will want to think about that practice. It will want to be proud for listening and following, or it will want to analyze the meaning of the act you were guided to follow, or it will want to imagine the results, the impact or the next step. All of this is returning to the circus, so when you see the mind acting in this way, practice the mantra to return the mind to the meadow.

Question: What do I do with this strong resistance to the practices you are asking me to keep?

Answer: Understand that all resistance comes from your willingness to listen to resistance before. It is an echo from the past that is being picked up and heard now. To listen to it again is like shouting into a cave again. The echo will only return.

One may stand at the mouth of the cave and shout at his own echo forever and the echo will not die. It will only return more frequently, and if his shouts get louder, the echo will grow louder too.

The way to end the feeling of resistance is to stop shouting into the cave.

Be gentle with yourself. When you are feeling resistance, quietly and gently practice the mantra anyway. This practice will not hurt you. And because you are passing on the temptation to shout into the cave, the echoes are beginning to die, and practice will come more easily in the future.