Hello My Dear Friends,
My current lesson has become crystal clear, which is great. Now I can focus all of my willingness on learning it.
As you all know, Holy Spirit has led me to teach about desire and to read about desire (through The Way of Mastery. I’ve also seen a lot of desires in my mind lately. Yesterday morning, after I made my post about desire, I went for a walk. While walking, Holy Spirit talked to me more about desire.
Holy Spirit pointed out for me that “form happens.” In other words, I am experiencing myself in a world of form so I will experience form. I will experience changes in my body. I will experience relationships. And Holy Spirit reminded me that because of my purpose, everything that is brought to me in form is brought to me through Him. It can all be accepted in love and trust. Nothing is to be resisted. Holy Spirit also reminded me that I am not to become attached to anything in form, nor are my desires to be focused on form. I am to let my desires remain focused on purpose and content (level of mind) while allowing the impermanence of form to move in and out of my experience.
For example, since June 1 I have lost my appetite. I seem to have no desire for food at all and I am eating very little. When I noticed this change, I accepted it easily. But Holy Spirit pointed out that I am not to become attached to this current eating guidance. When I am guided
into another way of eating, I must accept it just as easily. I am not to become attached to the form. I allow the form in acceptance and remain attached only to purpose and “wanting what the Holy Spirit wants.”
The majority of our conversation was focused on relationships. Holy Spirit reminded me not to become attached to the form of my relationships. All relationships in my life serve the purpose of awakening now and Holy Spirit is leading each relationship in and out of my life and in and out of specific forms. My job is simply to know my guidance in the moment and go with that, without becoming attached to the form.
Once this lesson was given, the day seemed to be orchestrated perfectly to flush up the part of my mind that is not willing to be quite so surrendered…the part of the mind that would like to attach to form and make some decisions about what form will look like for me, at least in some cases. (For example, it would like to pick if I am skinny or fat and it would like to pick the closest male relationship in my life.)
To keep the story short, three men seemed to show up in my life yesterday, each with their own part to play. At the end of the day, I realized that I have no idea what is going to happen next. As one of these men expressed his love and his trust that we will be together always, I realized that I don’t know that. I also immediately felt sad and confused.
I don’t have to feel feelings like sadness and confusion long before I go to Holy Spirit and ask for help. Holy Spirit was very clear with me and very direct. “Everything is in My hands. Everything. You know this. By thinking you have any responsibility in the situation, you are thinking in error. You are thinking you are independent and in control. That is not the case. The flow of your life comes from Me now.”
Of course He was right. I was feeling responsible for possibly hurting someone and that is why I felt sad. I also wanted to know what is going to happen next and I knew I don’t know. The “I don’t know” plus my feeling of responsibility mixed together to create the feeling of confusion.
This is how love flushes up the ego. Love guides us to see that which is in our mind that must be seen and let go. If we choose to let it go as soon as we see it, we are the happy learner and live a very happy dream. But if we choose to struggle against the letting go for awhile,
the dream doesn’t seem to be quite so happy. It is all perfect though, because the process of awakening is, and awakening is all that is happening here.
I needed to see that part of my mind that wants control of form and wants to attach to form. That part of my mind needs to be let go. I need to remember my true desire and put all of my trust in Holy Spirit, then accept and allow everything that comes into experience while also allowing the flow of experience. The Buddhist term “impermanence” seems to be a word that is echoing in my mind now. As I except the beauty and purpose of this idea, I loosen my grip on form.
NTI Matthew, Chapter 16, verse 26 says:
This is where you must look at your thoughts and your desires. For if you desire anything of the world, you have lost your desire for Me. Do not be afraid of what you find in your search. You will find that you do desire the world, for it is your desire that brought you here. But in finding your desire, you can choose to let it go. And in this way, you choose again, releasing the future from the past that you may see differently now.
With Love,
Regina